No Irish Need Apply
 

I'm a decent boy just landed

From the town of Ballyfad

I want a situation, yes

And want it very bad

I have seen employment advertised

"It's just the thing" says I

"But the dirty spalpeen ended with

'No Irish Need Apply' "

"Whoa," says I, "that's an insult

But to get the place I'll try"

So I went to see the blackguard

With his "No Irish Need Apply"

Some do count it a misfortune

To be christened Pat or Dan

But to me it is an honor

To be born an Irishman

I started out to find the house,

I got it mighty soon

There I found the old chap seated

He was reading the Tribune

I told him what I came for

When he in a rage did fly

"No!" he says, "You are a Paddy

And no Irish need apply"

Then I gets my dander rising

And I'd like to black his eye

To tell an Irish gentleman

"No Irish Need Apply"

Some do count it a misfortune

To be christened Pat or Dan

But to me it is an honor

To be born an Irishman

I couldn't stand it longer

So a hold of him I took

And gave him such a welting

As he'd get at Donnybrook

He hollered, "Milia murther"

And to get away did try

And swore he'd never write again

"No Irish Need Apply"

Well he made a big apology

I told him then goodbye

Saying, "When next you want a beating

Write 'No Irish Need Apply' "

Some do count it a misfortune

To be christened Pat or Dan

But to me it is an honor

To be born an Irishman